12 Ways To Trust Someone Again After They Hurt You
Are you seeking out legible ways to trust someone again after they hurt you ? You might just be at the right stop !
Trust is said to be one of the components of a good relationship. It’s a factor that is quite hard to build in a relationship.
Once it’s broken, it is most times difficult to rebuild, or better yet, it may never be rebuilt. Yes, losing trust in someone who is very dear to you can be painful.
While it’s not easy to try to give the person a second chance after you’ve been hurt, it can be possible if you’re willing to give them a second chance.
Be it a friend, family member, or lover, here are 12 ways in which you can trust someone again after being hurt.
1. TAKE TIME TO GRIEVE
This is a positive step in figuring out ways to trust someone again after they hurt you.
When your trust has been broken by someone you love and cherish, you wonder how to trust the person again.
What can you do in such a situation?
First, you have to take your time to grieve and heal, you probably would have heard that time heals all wounds.
If you want a wound like a broken trust to heal in a relationship, time is what you need.
Take your time to cry, to be angry, to sit in silence, and to stare at a wall hopelessly if need be.
This is also a fantastic way to take control of your life & be happy no matter what.
2. TRY TO FORGIVE
This doesn’t mean you’re giving room or allowing people to hurt you again. It means letting go of them and the pain they’ve caused you so you can heal and move on.
If you don’t have a forgiving heart, you probably will find it difficult to move on and save the relationship.
You might have to let go of something so horrible as having a grudge against the one who broke your trust can make you experience some of the dangers of unforgiveness.
If you don’t forgive, you will be holding onto the same grudge five months later or more, and nobody will be happy in the relationship.
3. LISTEN AND HEAR THEM OUT
I know that because of the pain your partner has caused you, you don’t want to hear any excuses or defences for their behaviour.
But at the same time, it’s you who’s trying to figure out how to love someone again after they’ve hurt you.
Unfortunately, giving your partner the chance to explain is an important part of the process outlined in the previous point.
Now, you don’t need to make room for their excuses or attempt to shift the blame on yourself, but giving your partner a listening ear could give some hints into the root of why they hurt you.
You don’t need to agree with them, but at least try and understand where they are coming from.
This can serve as a creative way to deal with your anger and address issues properly.
Maybe there was something missing in your relationship; maybe they’ll tell you it was all a mistake and they messed up.
Nevertheless, looking them in the eye and hearing them out will also help you decide how to go forward in the relationship.
You will get a clear insight into any issues your partner has and know how to tackle them.
4. GIVE YOURSELF ALL THE TIME YOU NEED
This is a follow-up to the last point above.
Don’t let anyone push you into hasty reconciliation. Even after hearing what your partner has to say, if you feel you still need time, then that’s fine.
I know you might want to move past this, but that doesn’t mean you have to rush right back into a burning house.
If you still see flames, or your instincts are not giving you the all-clear, it’s better to stay clear of it.
Make sure to take all the time you need.
5. SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP
A therapist or counsellor can provide a safe space to talk through what happened, plus offer insight and approaches on how to solve the problems in your relationship.
With the guidance of a counsellor, you will get to change your perspectives and become more objective.
This way, recovering from pain is easier, and you can be enlightened on ways to get over a friendship gone bad.
Furthermore, they can also provide information on how to set boundaries and understand the behaviours that can lead to emotional distance.
6. LEARN FROM EXPERIENCE
In this life, everyone has learned one or two lessons from experience. The question is, “What lessons did you learn from your experience?”
Doing so will help you take responsibility for your part in what happened and you wouldn’t want that to happen again.
Therefore, you are able to learn from your past.
It is easy to blame your partner for how things turned out, but instead, think of what you can do differently.
You should ask yourself if you learned anything about yourself and how you trust people.
Whatever lessons you have learned, use them to establish a better direction for your next relationship.
You shouldn’t allow the fear of falling in love or trusting someone to keep you from experiencing a loving relationship.
It is natural to be careful and build emotional barriers to prevent further heartbreak, but hiding behind them could prevent you from connecting with the love you deserve.
No matter how badly you’ve been hurt, it is possible to learn how to trust again.
7. LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF
If you don’t learn to trust yourself first, you might find it difficult to trust again after being cheated on.
Your own confidence and self-esteem should also be worked on.
Truth be told – if you ever got betrayed in your previous relationship by someone you had intimacy with, your belief in yourself may be battered.
And you can’t rebuild anything if you’re the one still in the pain.
If you’ve decided to rebuild trust with the same person who betrayed you, you have to start by learning how to trust yourself first.
Trust that whatever obstacles come up as you try to rebuild your relationship, you will work them out. Most of all, trust that whatever steps you’re taking are the right ones.
Also, Read 9 Tips For Compassionate Listening.
8. SET BOUNDARIES
Setting healthy relationship boundaries is essential to building bonds of trust.
Finding the need to set these boundaries means you and your partner know there are lines that should not be crossed.
It is pertinent to prioritize these boundaries to keep your relationship going.
Although most people believe that no boundaries should be set in an open relationship, this philosophy is not really valid, because even placing boundaries is not a bad thing.
Everyone needs their space sometimes and they may have a hard time coping with how to love someone again after they might have been hurt.
9. FORGET ABOUT THE PAST
One thing you have to know is that your past is different from your future.
One person’s bad behaviour is not to be used as a reflection on all humankind.
It is also a wise thing to try and avoid the same types of people and situations where your trust was violated.
You should never let the bad experiences you had taint your great expectations for the future.
Don’t project your own feelings of insecurity onto a potential new partner, or else you may read things into their behaviour that don’t really exist, which might not go well.
One of the effects or dangers of unforgiveness is projecting your past experiences on future relationships.
10. TRY TO REBUILD THE TRUST
You can’t trust someone again if you don’t try.
Communicate more with your partner if you sense things are getting rocky again.
Say something to them like, “I’ve noticed that things are difficult again.” “Could we make some time to talk?”
Open communication can prevent misunderstandings.
11. CHANGE YOUR THINKING
It’s normal to start having negative thoughts after being hurt and betrayed by someone you love.
As a result, you may even start developing a fear of dating.
Hence, readjusting your mindset and developing an open mind will enable you to make progress.
How you feel about your past experiences determines how you face the future. Don’t just believe that your past experience will happen again.
You could try to confront the emotions bothering you to adopt a new mindset that help you make better choices.
Keep in mind that your previous relationship might be different from your new one, but when you always think someone will hurt you again, you may sabotage the new relationship.
Turn your negative thoughts into positive thoughts.
Also, See 5 Ways Assumption affects communication.
12. DON’T HIDE YOUR EMOTIONS
Being open about your emotions is often an effective way to build trust. You don’t have to conceal how you feel about the betrayal.
In every circumstance, it is necessary that you speak your mind.
If people know that you are not the type to hide how you feel, they are more likely to trust you.
Emotional intelligence plays a very big role in building trust.
Acknowledging your feelings, letting them out, and learning the lessons that prevail are important.
Taking action means that you won’t deny reality—this is the key to building trust.