Top 99 Marriage Problems And Solutions
Top 99 Marriage Problems And Solutions
There are many marriage problems today because couples have refused to admit that they have some personal issues that need to be worked on.
The problem on the part of the husband or the wife merges and begins to form a frictional expression after a few years into the journey.
At this point, it is pertinent to find solutions before problems get out of hand, which is why you’re here.
Most importantly, you need to sort this out before the kids begin to exhibit the same characteristics in their personal and relationship life.
So, what are the common problems in homes and how best can you alleviate or eliminate them with proven long-lasting solutions?
The truth is until the appropriate solution is applied to specific problems, issues will keep reoccurring, and your love for each other will continue to wane.
I am sure you don’t want to give up on your marriage yet.
You still believe something can be done. Yes, you can still have many years together and have your spouse laugh and giggle with happiness.
Here are some common marriage problems and solutions that can be applied to them.
1. Interference from external parties
This might be interference from friends, In-laws, bosses and neighbours who take your side to show how loyal they are to you and give you more reason to hate your marriage.
Don’t fall for it. Know when and how to protect your home from third-party interference in marriage.
Make decisions and keep your quarrels to yourself, except it is so complicated that you need to see a counsellor – the professional person for the job.
2. Personal insecurity
If your spouse is always discouraging you from pursuing your personal goals, dreams and missions, your spouse might be insecure.
Sometimes, it’s a lack of belief. The goal might make you successful, and your spouse might not want to see you go that far.
You must ask yourself certain questions while dating.
Ask if your spouse would allow you to take certain steps and see how it goes down. Knowing this will give you an idea of whether you will already take some steps before getting married.
Talk often about your goals and reassure your spouse to see them the way you do.
3. Inability to communicate opinions effectively without hurting your spouse
There’s a need for good communication skills in marriage. Without learning how to communicate respectfully, you will end up complicating issues in a bid to solve the problem.
The solution is to ensure you take your time to construct what you want to say without letting your spouse feel bad or worse.
It could start with an appreciation, then the main situation, and end with another appreciation.
4. Absence of sexual intimacy
Sex brings a couple together with a kind of warmth and fondness. It’s like the icing on the cake.
As much as you can, do not deprive yourself of this gift of marriage, except it is a joint decision to do without sex for a while, such as health issues, childbirth complications, medical advice etc.
5. Inability to meet the family’s needs
Marriage comes with many financial obligations, and conflicts and dissatisfaction begin to sprout when you cannot meet up.
If you can be smart with money in your 20s, your chances of being financially stable in the future are higher.
Ensure you both have a level of financial stability before walking into marriage.
6. Distractions that eat up family time
When a spouse is carried away by so many activities or the extreme need to make so much money, the other spouse might begin to feel abandoned and unloved.
Guard against this by limiting outings and other distractions you won’t be able to do together.
7. Lack of respect for each other
All humans deserve some respect. We all want to be heard and not shut down like we don’t matter. People seem to underestimate the importance of respect for others.
Always ensure you treat your spouse right and give him/her the confidence to express himself or herself.
8. Lack of appreciation
Heart-to-heart talks should never be a thing of the past.
These powerful, enticing words sparked your love for each other when you started the journey.
Keep teasing him/her the way you did before you won his/her heart. It’s very important.
9. Unwillingness to support the choice of your spouse
Sometimes, your spouse’s interest may differ from yours, and love requires that you use emotional support phrases.
When a lack of support happens repeatedly, love begins to wane. You can avoid this problem by becoming willing to support your spouse as long as it isn’t a bad choice.
Give your spouse a choice to do what makes them happy.
10. Making the minor the major
Some little things shouldn’t make you forget the main things.
If your spouse is sweet, kind, loving, supportive, humorous and hardworking, their habit of leaving the cup in the wrong place shouldn’t make you suddenly forget how good they have been.
Common, don’t focus too much on that.
11. Lack of friendship and cooperation
Whatever brought you together as friends and what you did to make your spouse laugh at the beginning of your marriage should be maintained.
Don’t let the numerous responsibilities of marriage take that away.
Crack those jokes and throw those pillows!
12. Inability to work on yourself as a person
One source of marriage problems is when either or both parties are unwilling to work on themselves.
When you’re the only one trying to be a better person, it might look like nothing is working.
However, when the two of you are naturally teachable, admit mistakes and are ready to listen to each other, you will keep getting better by the day.
Premarital and extramarital affairs could crumble a union, leading to distrust and a lack of love.
If you have once cheated on your partner, it might be hard for her or him to believe you in certain circumstances.
To grow your love back and avoid fights based on past actions, you must be as open and plain as possible, even to the tiniest details and movements.
You also need to know how to avoid extramarital affairs as much as possible.
14. Inability to manage stress
Sometimes, life can get so stressful that every other thing wouldn’t make much sense.
At that point, it’s better to ask for some space or a resting time instead of letting the stress out aggressively to everyone around you, including your spouse.
It is necessary to decipher moments like this and manage the situation rather than escalate the issue.
15. Anger management issues
Suppose you are someone who gets angry easily. In that case, you might need to take an anger management course or routine therapy before walking into marriage because marriage will test your strengths and weaknesses.
There are several creative ways to manage anger, but they will only work when you are deliberate about it. Work on it day in and day out!
You don’t want to destroy your marriage with your anger. Sometimes, you just need to let go, take a walk, or read the highly reverenced Scriptures – 1st Corinthians chapter 13.
16. Making the major the minor
Some character defects needed to have been straightened out from the start of your relationship, but you ignored them and felt he or she would change over time.
However, the situation got out of hand.
I think you would need to sit down with your spouse and talk about it. If that doesn’t work, you could see a counsellor or someone your spouse respects to help you.
17. Lack of trust based on imaginary or concrete evidence
If you never trusted your spouse before marriage, it might be tough to gain their trust back in marriage. However, you can learn how to trust someone again after they hurt you.
Whatever the reason for doubt, ensure you clear it. Discuss it and be comfortable with it before you enter. Tie the knot.
18. Taking the sides of an external person
This is quite similar to the previously discussed “external interference”.
However, this is done in the presence of someone else who is indifferent or against your spouse.
This is one of the most heartbreaking scenarios in marriages. Deal with your problems yourself without making it a scene.
This happens when you don’t give attention to what matters to the other person.
This can be curbed when you develop a compassionate listening ear and give the same preference to the situation. You can learn some tips for compassionate listening.
Couples act like they don’t care about the other person’s choice, making the journey of love boring and individualistic. Know what matters to both of you.
20. Physical body changes
Due to childbirth, unforeseen health conditions or ageing, the human physique might change over time.
Therefore, you should ensure that your sole aim of walking into that marriage is not because of your spouse’s curves or macho nature.
Make sure there is something more that excites you about your spouse, like their character or how they relate to others.
And when the body changes, help each other to achieve fitness goals. Hit the gym together and remind each other to curb unhealthy diets.
21. A change in other things that turn you on
Soft skills and innate abilities are awesome but let me ask you.
What if these things change?
Before you enter a marriage, you both put up your perfect sides, but with the passing of years, you get more natural and casual. Then, flaws and imperfections begin to show up.
There are behaviours that can ruin relationships. If one of the character flaws can ruin your relationship, it’s better to talk about it together.
After doing this, you should ensure you stay in love even when what sweeps you off your feet begins to wane in your spouse.
Things like fluency and humour may fade but remember what you signed up for – for better, for worse.
22. The sudden revelation of hideous character/the past
Sometimes, people enter marriage without looking like their true reflection in the first few years.
A sudden realisation of the true character or something you thought had stayed in the past may begin to make you feel angry or irritated about your spouse.
At this point, you need to communicate about it effectively.
Hey, there’s a lot of communication to do in marriage than pleasure. You just have to be open about it amicably to resolve future conflicts.
23. High expectation
Too many make-believe love movies might make you think marriage is perfect and sweet. Sorry to burst your bubbles.
It could also entail arguments, slamming doors, walking out of each other, and ending the conversation abruptly!
However, these hitches shouldn’t be as many as when you were both on good terms. They are expected to only happen once in a while. Maybe once a year, the frequency should continue to reduce as you spend more years together and know more about each other.
These situations should never be regular in any home. To manage this, you have to see your spouse as a mere human being who is flawed and may not meet up to some expectations.
Unforgiveness comes with some dangers. Be ready to forgive each other, and don’t let the disagreement linger for more than a day. Every marriage has its fair share of glitches, no matter how romantic the family picture looks.
If it doesn’t get better with time, please see a professional counsellor together.
24. Excessive nagging
Are you a nagging wife or husband? You might have turned nagging into a habit if you complain too much about the same thing.
The best alternative is to fix it yourself if your spouse is not ready to fix things instead of talking about it repeatedly. There are several ways to stop nagging and get what you want.
Sometimes, when I desire things to be done or bought and hubby gives excuses or tells me it’s not necessary, I just go ahead to buy it. Sooner or later, he will come to realise a good decision.
Sometimes, indecision on the part of a partner could be linked to the inability to meet up at that time. You could step in, and that will relieve him/her.
25. Giving up too early
Marriage is like a goal you must keep working on to succeed. Don’t be a spouse who goes into a marriage, sees a problem and runs to the exit to quit as soon as possible.
Why not find a solution first? Kudos to you for coming here.
You could also try seeing a counsellor, listen to tapes/youtube videos of people in your shoes, read books that relate to the problem or find any other solution you can get. Then, fix it.
Nobody would stay married today if everyone had to run at the sight of problems.
26. Crushing on someone else
Haha, this is for the disgruntled spouse. You have your supportive husband, yet you keep eyeing the tall, dark, handsome guy on the next street.
Your wife is beautiful and caring, yet you keep crushing on a fairer lady at work. You don’t know what you’re playing with.
You’re calling for the destruction of your home. This is the fastest way to pull down your home with your hands.
Common, be disciplined and stop crushing on someone else after marriage. It is dangerous!
27. Losing touch with one another for a long time
While it is important to keep jobs or whatever is calling for your attention, please don’t let your marriage suffer for it.
If it’s a short-term separation, that’s fine; however, when it’s beginning to turn into several months and then years without your spouse, you might feel lonely and become vulnerable to temptations.
Always ensure you don’t leave your home divided for too long, especially when your marriage is still young. You need a solid plan before embarking on such separations. And after you do, you need to always keep in touch and reassure yourselves of your love for each other.
28. Testing your partner absurdly
I have read of many ways to have fun with your spouse by testing him/her. Please, it is important to know the kind of person you married before thinking about such ideas.
I, as a person, do not like surprises, especially if I don’t know your whereabouts for some hours. Some surprises are better planned by friends of the couple or companies offering such services without creating room for doubts.
Please, don’t get me wrong. Surprises make some people scream happily, but it could be a turn-off for others when it is very unusual.
Know what works for your marriage/spouse, and stop comparing what works somewhere else with yours.
Some people can do anything for the sake of money or goals.
They could leave their families without a backup plan, break communication, work 7 days a week without coming home or sell off their properties to invest in shady businesses.
Whatever you do for money, make sure you think it through. If your decisions will make your family worse off, it wouldn’t be fair and could crash the union.
Think through big decisions and ensure you get the support of your spouse and, if possible, children.
Oh, I am perfect; No, he can’t do that; yes, she is the best thing in the world.
These phrases are awesome, but they are not realistic in the entire journey of marriage.
Even when you were with your parents, you had misunderstandings, and sometimes, you didn’t understand why they made certain decisions to your detriment.
This didn’t make you leave them. Likewise, a temporary situation doesn’t have to mean the end of the relationship. You’ll only learn to get over it. The truth is nobody is perfect. We can only continue to work on each other until death.
The journey to seeing what you desire in your life and your spouse is a slow and rewarding process. When you see tougher situations in other marriages, you’ll be grateful yours isn’t as bad.
31. Keeping secrets from your spouse
Why would you do that? If you have a great reason that will be revealed later and benefit you both, it’s fine.
However, if it is due to selfishness, personal gains or unpredictable outcomes, I think it’s best to be open to your husband or wife.
It could save either of you from impending danger. There are consequences to keeping secrets.
I remember how I almost got kidnapped, and what saved me was that I had called my husband to say that I would be going there.
He got information about the place from someone else and discovered it was a trap. If I had been too secretive with my movements, I might have been a victim of kidnap.
Open up to each other more. You both are now one, no longer two.
32. Lack of magic words
Toddlers still sing these magic words as rhymes, and I cannot deny that these words are truly magical.
Don’t let overfamiliarity with your spouse let you use these words less.
Please, excuse me, sorry, thank you, pardon me are five magic words that can make your marriage better and more adorable.
Instead of making some assumptions, why not ask your spouse why she acted in a certain way?
Though seeming stringent, I have realised that some actions may be borne out of love.
Knowing the motive and rationale behind some situations will help you understand your spouse better if he/she is not lying.
If you keep assuming the wrong things, your ability to communicate effectively with each other will be affected negatively.
There are a couple of ways assumptions affect communication. So, speak your mind and seek clarifications where necessary.
34. Lies and Dishonesty
When Spouses fail to be truthful to each other, it can erode the trust they have in each other. See 10 importance of honesty in a relationship.
Fidelity becomes a problem, and friendship, which forms the basis of any successful marriage, is undermined.
Solution: Honesty – even in little things – is truly the best policy in marriage. Tell your partner the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.
35. Bottling up resentments
Two imperfect humans living together are bound to hurt each other – intentionally or unintentionally.
Bottling up resentments isn’t the way to go. When you bottle up your grievances, the other person might not know what he or she is doing to hurt you.
Next, the problem has a very low chance of being resolved and may reoccur. Finally, feelings of resentment wear down the affection you feel for your partner.
You might find yourself picking faults, being irritable or throwing temper tantrums on minor issues. Instead, find creative ways to deal with your anger and get the freedom your mind deserves.
Solution: Address issues maturely and compassionately when you feel hurt. Talk openly and honestly about your feelings. Forgive easily, too – for your mental state and your marriage.
36. Change of agreed plan
A change in a family plan may be due to unforeseen circumstances, but not everyone can take it lightly. Nobody likes unpleasant surprises.
What to do: Keep swift unprepared changes to the barest minimum if your partner doesn’t fancy them.
Let your spouse know about the change from you – not someone else.
37 Keeping Secrets about Money
Keeping secrets of any form is not healthy, especially about money. This goes back to being truthful with your partner.
If you keep secrets about money and your partner finds out, it will be trouble.
What to do: Be honest and open about an aspect of your finances – your income, assets, liabilities, debts etc. – to each other.
Maturity comes in handy in marriage. Immaturity makes even the pettiest disagreements escalate into full-blown arguments.
It makes spouses constantly find faults in each other instead of overlooking them in love. Problems in marriage become insurmountable challenges because of immaturity.
Solutions: Demonstrate acts of maturity towards your partner. Overlook little things and talk about issues rather than giving your partner the silent treatment.
Say sorry – whether you’re at your fault or not. Be kind – even when you feel your partner does not deserve it, he/she will soon realise how much of a special gift you are. Choose to believe the best about your partner.
39. Playing the Blame Game
Not accepting responsibility for your fault and shifting the blame on your partner is a no-no.
Blaming your partner (if he or she is at fault) so much that you ignore the real problem is also not the way to go.
What to do: View you and your partner as a team. View the problem as exactly what it is – the problem and work together to resolve it.
Be forgiving. Your partner feels bad already causing a problem; there’s no need to pile up more guilt.
40. Too busy schedules
Not having adequate time to be together and hang out can cause you to drift apart.
Time flies, and you might suddenly wake up one morning and realise that you don’t know your interests or who your spouse has become.
Solution: If you both have a hectic schedule, be intentional about being together.
Fix regular date nights, and attend functions together. Put your phone away, switch the TV off and create time to talk and catch up on each other’s lives.
41. Unhealthy Comparisons
Comparing your marriage with another couple or your spouse with another person will generate unnecessary dissatisfaction that will take you nowhere but disagreements.
What to do:
Understand that every marriage is unique and has its peculiarities. Be ready to do whatever it takes to make yours successful.
Every individual is also on a personal journey, and, comparisons are not just baseless but also unfair.
Help your partner become the best version of themselves.
You can observe and learn from other successful couples but do not go on telling your spouse how bad they are compared to your next-door neighbour.
It’s not a good way to resolve issues. Just keep encouraging him/her.
Marriage is a union, and building a successful union entails selflessness at one point or the other. Selflessness is so important.
When you or your spouse becomes consumed with these three words; ‘ me, mine and I’, there’s bound to be problems.
What to do: Think of your marriage as ‘us’. Constantly go the extra mile to meet your spouse’s needs, even if it’s not convenient.
Be supportive and understanding of your partner.
43. Hateful Words
Words are powerful. The marks they leave are very hard to erase.
Words in the heat of anger and frustration can leave scars that last for years.
What to do: Be honest and compassionate while trashing issues out with your partner.
Listen to understand and not respond immediately, especially if you’re both angry. Avoid phrases like ‘ You always…’, ‘You never…’.
Don’t say things out of how you feel at the moment; say them out of what you know or, better still, keep your comments till you can reason them out amicably.
44. Relying on your spouse for your happiness
Happiness is a state of mind. It shouldn’t be determined by situations or people or even your spouse.
You should be happy because you choose to be. Relying on your spouse for your happiness is a burden that they’ll most likely not be able to bear.
What to do: Strive to live a happy, fulfilling life outside your marriage. Do things that make you happy – together or alone. There are tips for happiness in daily life and you should apply them as much as you can.
Adopt positivity even in negative situations. Remember that you can only have a happy marriage if you, as an individual, are happy. Do what makes you happy as a person and watch the happiness spread into your home.
45. Excessive Frugality
Spending wisely is a great thing to do, but when it becomes excessive, it can lead to selfishness and resentment.
What to do: Spend with a budget as a guide but set aside some money for you to play hard as a couple.
46. Public Disagreements
When you have a fight in public with your spouse, it can be embarrassing.
Plus, you both lose respect as a couple in front of your friends and family who witnessed your fight. It can also lead to third-party meddling in your affairs.
What to do: Pledge not to air your dirty laundry in public with your spouse.
Wait till you’re in private to trash issues out. Don’t talk about your partner in a demeaning manner with someone else. Show others that you respect each other.
47. Listening to respond instead of looking out to understand
Do you listen to your partner? Beyond the words and the situation at hand, do you strive to accept and regard their feelings?
And do you look out for the things they left unsaid? Not listening patiently can create a communication gap between the two of you that widens with every conversation or fight.
What to do: Listen, listen and listen again. Listen more than you talk. Do it well too.
Don’t listen to strike back at your spouse. Listen, so you know what you’re both dealing with. Listen to understand his/her perspective and viewpoint.
48. Thinking love is enough
Love is important but isn’t enough to build a happy marriage.
What happens when you don’t feel the love you’ve always had towards your partner? That’s where other things come in.
What to do: Commitment is stronger than love. Be committed to your partner in words and acts. The vows you made to each other say a lot about commitment.
Have each other’s back even when you no longer feel the need to hold hands while walking together. Even if you’re in a long-distance relationship, there are ways to stay connected.
49. Personal Weaknesses
Nobody is perfect, but glaring personal weaknesses, if not dealt with, can serve as roadblocks to the success of your marriage.
Character traits such as dishonesty, laziness, uncontrollable anger, inability to keep secrets, etc. can be detrimental to a marriage.
What to do: Accept your weaknesses. Seek ways to improve consciously and become a better version of yourself every day.
50. Constantly Giving up on your desires and happiness
As much as marriage is a union that requires selflessness, it also entails mutuality.
When you constantly give up your desires and happiness for the sake of your spouse without him/her doing it in return, you’ll feel cheated and disappointed.
What to do: Talk honestly about what both of you want from your marriage. Support, companionship, love, work-life balance, financial backup?
Then, strive to give it to each other – in every way possible.
51. Taking each other for granted
When friends take each other for granted, it strains their relationship. Imagine this frequently happening in marriage; it is not a good sight to behold.
Both partners will eventually feel unappreciated and unloved. There are ways to stop being taken for granted in a relationship.
What to do: Constantly appreciate your partner for whatever they do for you, and never feel entitled to it.
52. The stress of taking care of the children
Children are one of the many things that can strain your marriage. Kids – and the responsibility that comes with them – can be a handful.
If one person (usually the mother) shoulders most of the responsibility, it can become a stumbling block that can prevent her from growing or adding value to herself.
Solution: Make parenting a joint effort. Make no parenting task peculiar to one person – do it together. And remember to take breathing space away from your kids regularly.
Leave them with a trusted sitter and go out together to catch up. It’ll help your parenting and marriage.
53. Misinterpreted texts
Texting is not the place to have important discussions because harmless texts can be misconstrued and misinterpreted to mean something they don’t mean.
What to do: When you text, use emojis to add a level of emotion to your conversation.
Don’t forget to call her/him or have face-to-face conversations too, especially for serious matters.
Addictions are unhealthy, for an individual or a relationship.
What to do: If you or your spouse have an addiction, seek professional help.
55. Inability to make a strong decision
When couples can’t reach an agreement, on major decisions and little ones, problems may arise.
What to do: If you have trouble reaching an agreement with your spouse all the time, check the following things: your methods of communication (perhaps you should listen and seek to understand or view things from the other person’s perspective), the consequences of all the options available and what will be best for your marriage.
56. Fanning the flames of past relationships
This can inadvertently lead to infidelity – one of the leading causes of divorce. You need to be intentional about preventing extra-marital affairs.
What to do: Keep ex-lovers or past partners at arm’s length once you’re married.
57. Lack of mentorship/counselling before Marriage
If you’re not given sound advice before you say I do, you might be susceptible to pitfalls in marriage.
Good Premarital counselling helps you get prepared for the real deal. Well, if you skipped that, read the solution below.
What to do: Better late than never! Get yourselves registered with a Godly marriage counsellor to help you. Don’t just listen to the pieces of advice, act them out too.
58. Bad Influence
Taking advice from the wrong sources or allowing a negative external influence to have an unhealthy hold on your marriage will surely cause problems.
What to do: Be careful when you take advice about your marriage. Seek counsel from God’s word, and teaching based on it or a professional marriage counsellor.
59. Leaving out God
God is the author of marriage, he should be the principal advise-giver, shouldn’t he?
What to do: Pray together – a family or couple that prays together stays together.
Seek the face of God while making important decisions or navigating life’s situations together. And remember that the Bible is the best manual on marriage.
60. Emphasizing Problems rather than Solutions
Negativity will do your marriage no good. Problems get bigger the more you focus on them. You need to know how to get rid of negativity from your mind.
What to do: Embrace positivity. Seek solutions rather than focusing on problems.
61. Not Being Supportive of Your Spouse in hard times
This is a major marriage deal-breaker. Marriage is all about mutual support of each other in difficult times.
Not doing this can make the other person feel weak, unloved and hurt.
What to do: Be supportive of each other not only during tough times but all through.
62. Planning Family things Separately
This speaks of a lack of unity even in things concerning your family. If this is a regular occurrence in your family, treat it as a Problem.
What to do: Take out time to plan family events together (such as birthdays, anniversaries and other milestones) together.
63. Competing with each other
Marriage is not a competition. Supporting is everything about the word “not competing”. When you are all about doing better than your spouse, you’re heading to marriage problems
What to do: View your marriage as what it is – a union, not a competition. Don’t be envious when your partner succeeds more than you do – your partner’s success is yours too.
64. Letting go of things that sparked your love in the first place
This can quickly let your romance fizzle out. And what’s a happy marriage without a bit of romance?
What to do: Romance is an important – exciting – part of marriage. Don’t let it go cold in yours. Give each other gifts, exchange sweet texts and all.
65. Lack of Tolerance
Your partner definitely has weaknesses because he or she is an imperfect human – which you are too.
Getting aggrieved at little things and constantly nagging your partner to change will take you nowhere.
What to do: Make room for tolerance, in little things, and in big things…it isn’t all that hard when you consciously work on it.
66. Letting Traumatic Situations overwhelm you
Every marriage goes through really rough spots. It can be anything from the loss of a child or loved one, to financial letdowns.
What to do: When things like the above arise, make a conscious effort not to let them overwhelm you. Seek lots of help when needed.
67. Social media Distractions
Excessive use of social media – especially during “family time” – can lead to communication problems in marriage.
What to do: Several times, when you’re with your spouse, drop the phone and just talk.
68. Lack of attention
Not giving your spouse or your marriage itself enough attention can make your spouse feel neglected or unloved which can certainly cause hiccups in your marriage.
What to do: Carve out time in your schedule to regularly spend quality time with your spouse.
Husbands and wives alike ought to feel a responsibility towards the family they’ve created and to the success of their marriage.
When this isn’t the case, the non-committal attitude of either one can lead to instability of the union and other marriage problems.
70. Incompatibility issues
Being the Yang of your partner’s Ying helps to make your marriage an easy ride. If this isn’t the case, then you and your partner probably have compatibility issues.
71. Culture Shock
Marrying someone from another culture or part of the world can be really tricky. The difference in lifestyles and beliefs about certain things can really add to the strain.
72. Trivializing issues
When a spouse constantly makes really important issues seem trivial, it will lead to two things – problems and feelings of frustration by the other person.
73. Fighting over the same issue
Recurring disagreements over the same issue between spouses means there’s a big hitch – usually one of a lack of understanding.
With pride comes a fall – in marriage too. Humility towards each other is a key proponent of a successful marriage.
75. Destructive Lifestyles
Overspending, addictions of any sort, Promiscuity and the likes are destructive and will certainly put your marriage in harm’s way.
76. Overwhelming Chores
Domestic chores and tasks around the house can be tiring usually if they’re daunting. This can cause resentment on the part of, usually the wife because she feels overworked and also unappreciated.
What to do: Invest in full or part-time domestic help. Husbands, constantly appreciate wives for a job well done around the house.
77. Marriage Based on Conditions
The “ifs” guiding a marriage should be love, understanding and commitment. Anything asides from those are a marriage based on Conditions that will lead to failure.
78. Disobedience to God’s word
God’s word is the ultimate manual to all kinds of relationships – friendship, business partnership and even marriage. Disobedience to God’s word can cause upheavals in marriage.
79. Being overly defensive
When your spouse points out your faults to you, what’s your reaction? Do you throw a fit and try to shift the blame or make excuses for your behaviour?
Or do you accept the truth when it is spoken in love? Being overly defensive can show a lack of openness and humility that will cause marriage problems.
80. Lack of interest
Marriage needs work and effort. Happy and cheerful work and effort. If you’re not interested in the success of your marriage, you’ll find it difficult to put in the work and effort, wouldn’t you?
81. When the two of you don’t put in the same efforts
This is related to the point above. Marriage requires happiness and mutual effort on both sides. When this doesn’t happen, a partner gets tired of putting in all the work and resentment grows.
82. Too sexually active
Too much sexual activity which is relative to the needs and perspectives of the parties involved can cause rifts. Discuss how to manage your extremes and find a midpoint of agreement.
83. Not learning from other established marriages
Established marriages are great places to learn practical hints and tips on getting the hang of marriage. Failure to learn from them or take their good advice can lead to problems.
84. Lack of forgiveness
Your partner is not perfect. Neither are you. When you step on each other’s toes, bottling up resentments and keeping grudges is not the way to go or you’ll have big marriage problems. Learn to forgive and let things go – a lot!
85. Unprepared early marriage
A marriage that is jumped into without adequate preparation is bound to have a lot of problems. It’s just like going on a journey without adequate tools for the road.
86. Misunderstanding the purpose of marriage
There are a whole lot of wrong beliefs about the purpose of marriage – that marriage brings automatic happiness/fulfilment etc. Going into marriage with this mindset – the wrong mindset – will certainly cause marriage problems.
87. Less use of ” I love you”
Not constantly affirming your love for your spouse can make you feel unwanted, and unloved or make them doubt your feelings for them which can make the romance fizzle out quickly in your marriage.
88. Trying to settle in the heat of situations
This can lead to both of you saying things you’ll regret or making bad decisions all around.
What to do: Wait till the heat dies down and have a civil conversation about it. You’ll be glad you did and you will be able to avoid many marriage problems.
89. Making quick, unchecked decisions
This can later lead to regret and recurring marriage problems or constant arguments if it happens regularly.
90. Unclear home or financial responsibilities
This can put a strain on your marriage, to say the least. When each person doesn’t know what is expected of him or her in terms of financial and home responsibilities there’s bound to be friction.
91. Being partial to parental care
Children ought to be a joint responsibility of both husbands and wives. If in reality, they aren’t, it’s going to cause resentment from the party that is more responsible for them.
92. Being rigid to the solution of your spouse
Being a know-it-all in marriage is a no-no. When you’re not open to the suggestions of your spouse about solving marriage problems – the problems might just become bigger.
93. Not keeping promises
This shows a lack of integrity to your word and of commitment to your spouse. Not keeping your promises can quickly erode the trust your partner has in you.
94. Not updating each other on your whereabouts
This puts your integrity and safety in question. Always let your partner know where you are at every significant point in time.
95. Digging up old wounds
This will only drag your marriage back to past arguments and hurts which are better left unopened. Forgive and strive to forget too.
96. Hurtful words
Words are powerful. They have the power to do harm as well as good in your marriage. If you affirm and support your partner through your words, you’ll see positive results. If you speak to them harshly and cruelly, especially in the heat of anger, the results are sure to be negative.
What to do: Follow these codes when speaking with your partner – affirmation, encouragement and love.
97. Going Physical
Turning your marriage or home into a boxing ring can leave physical and emotional marriage problems and scars that last for years.
What to do: Make a vow together never to get physical during arguments – and keep it.
98. Spiritual Lukewarmness
Being a Christian that is influenced by moods and feelings in worshipping God will do no good, not only for your marriage but for other aspects of your life as well.
What to do: Stay committed to God and reap the rewards bountifully – in all areas of your life.
99. Enforcing change
Being the lion of your kingdom where others are cubs won’t help matters. Communicating effectively with love as adults and encouraging each other to change certain things or lifestyles would do a lot.
Marriage can be an incredible source of companionship, love and friendship. It offers wonderful benefits for life satisfaction, fulfilment and overall well-being of an individual. But no marriage comes without its own peculiar challenges.
Every marriage has to go through bumps on the road and these problems can put a strain on the couple and cause an eventual breakup if not handled in the right way.
So, there you have it, folks. Marriage problems and practical insights in resolving them. It sure takes a lot of conscious effort but the rewards are worth it.
I’m sure you’ve identified one or two hitches you’d like to smoothen in your own marriage. Pray to God for guidance, apply the solutions above, seek help and stay consistent. Your marriage is bound to be a success.